Monday, April 7, 2014

Saturday, April 5, 2014

The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age 42 and Three-Quarters

Why age 42 and Three-Quarters?


Because 42 is the perfect age. Young enough to dangle off the side of a barge in the Seine but old enough to know better. Young enough to fall in love, but supposedly old enough not to fall for a stranger over the internet.








Excerpt from Alice's Secret Diary:


9:00 a.m.  A bell rang and Leslie moved to his seat. The bailiff called the Court to order and the judge entered. We all stood.
The judge was female, about fifty-five, with a stubby body. She wore a long white wig like the judge in Alice in Wonderland. Bum luck pulling a lady-judge. I’ve learned that women are usually less compassionate with other women. She wasn’t going to be sympathetic to my flights of fancy. The worst part was she was probably in Leslie’s pocket.
As I slipped into position at our table my straight skirt rose up my legs. I tugged at the hem catching my bracelet on my pantyhose at mid-thigh. I struggled to free the gold links from the tougher than steel fibers of my run-resistant hose. My every movement succeeded in tangling me with myself. My right wrist felt permanently attached to my right thigh eight inches short of being obscene. 
As the true horror of my situation sank into my brain, I watched the lawyers take turns going up to the podium to announce their names and whom they represented. Dallas Little was attorney for Leslie Archer. Glick waddled up to the stand, “George Blackstone Glick for the plaintiff, Algernon Green” he said in a big, booming voice.
“And for the Defense?” the judge asked.
I was sweating. I couldn’t stay in my seat. You had to walk up and announce yourself. I edged out of the chair bent over, hobbling, wrist on thigh, and skirt way up where it shouldn’t have been. I tried to act as professional as I could under the circumstances. I flashed the judge a self-deprecating smile.
 “Alice Harte. I am here today in my own defense, Your Honor. I am pro se.” I couldn’t reach the microphone on the podium, so I spoke as loudly as I could considering my face was on my stomach.
The courtroom was silent; you could have heard a lawyer drop.
The judge looked flabbergasted. “Are you mocking me?” she snapped.
“Your Honor I have a problem. May I go behind the bench?”
“The correct terminology is ‘May I approach the bench?’”
I hunched forward, pigeon stepping toward her. There were twitters of laughter in the courtroom. The judge banged her gavel. “Silence.  Ms. Harte if you are attempting to make a mockery of this court, I will not take it lightly. Now straighten up.”
The judge’s bench was a good three feet taller than my head. I waddled as close as I could and mouthed the words ‘Panty hose are stuck.’ She didn’t get it.
I figured if I could get behind the judicial platform I could take off my panty hose and roll them up with the bracelet and be done with it. The bailiff was one step behind me as I slipped around the bench and under the judge’s chair. I guessed he’d never seen anyone act that way in court before because he stood there dumbstruck and then broke into gales of laughter. The spectators joined him. The noise was so loud the judge’s gavel-banging couldn’t be heard. It was twenty minutes before they all got quiet and I felt secure enough to walk out from under the judge’s chair. I did so with all the dignity I could muster. I pretended I was Joan of Arc going to the stake.



I'm in Love with the New Fire TV!



I’m in love!

The new Fire TV is here and what a dreamboat. He’s a little box that plugs into your HDTV. Fire TV is the easiest way to enjoy Prime Instant Video, Netflix, Hulu and ESPN… all low cost or free video rentals. Plus, all your favorite streaming services.
With the spooky but oh-so-accurate voice search, gone is old TV remote that required scrolling and plunking in each letter one at time on a tiny keyboard. All I do is whisper in his ear.
I’m a Prime member so I get unlimited access to movies and TV shows, including Downton Abbey and Under the Dome. 
My new love is such an amusing dude, he would make Spock and Captain Kirk palpitate. And if they were lost in space they could chill-out playing hundreds of games with him. 
Yuppers... I am in love and after years of doing without a TV because of the boring selection of cheesy shows… I’ve actually purchased a new television. Now I’m back at the helm. This is so cool. I just had to share.



                                                       

Sunday, March 23, 2014



Amidst the high-rises of downtown Miami, archaeologists are taking a giant step back in time as they piece together evidence of the only known prehistoric civilization cut into bedrock in the United States. This continuing exploration was the inspiration for Wendy Darlin's latest adventure:

                                      Miami Mummies


                                                  Read all about it on Second Act Cafe



                                                               

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Look out! The Mummies are in Miami!

The Miami Mummies are coming to get you!



                                                                  

Review from Big Al's Books & Pals

Reviewed by: ?wazithinkin

Genre:  Humor /Mystery /Adventure

Approximate word count: 45-50,000 words

Availability    
Kindle  US: YES  UK: YES  Nook: NO  Smashwords: NO Paper: NO
Click on a YES above to go to appropriate page in Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Smashwords store

Author:

“Barbara Silkstone is the best-selling author of the Wendy Darlin Tomb Raider series ~ Mystery Comedies featuring Wendy Darlin, Miami real estate broker and part-time Tomb Raider. Silkstone enjoys doing playful things with language as she writes criminally funny tales ripped from the headlines...shaken, not stirred, and served with a twist and a chuckle. She lives in south Florida where she survives on buttered popcorn and fried chicken... extra crispy.”

You can find out more about Ms. Silkstone at her website or connect with her on her blog orFacebook. Ms. Silkstone has also recently opened another website that has nothing to do with books. “The Second Act Café is a place for those lingering on either side of fifty. It’s about getting even by having fun. Life truly should be one long laugh.” Her books are also available on Audible.com.
Description:

“The legendary mastermind criminal and mummy thief, Kyzer Saucy, strikes again. Part-time tomb raider and full-time real estate broker, Wendy Darlin joins her lover, archaeologist Roger Jolley as they struggle to save a rare Miami mummy from the clutches of this evil genius. Can Saucy be stopped before he kills again? Meanwhile can Wendy keep her promise to Alfred Hiccup as he attempts to transmigrate from the afterlife? Or has Wendy finally made one promise too many?

Appraisal:

As always Wendy hits the ground running. She just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time with hormones raging. Ms. Silkstone's plots are character driven and I am not sure she has any control over Wendy at all. She is a smart, take control type of heroine and doesn't let anything get in her way, besides holes in fabric, water in her face, or heights.

Miami Mummies is a homage to Alfred Hitchcock with character names such as Alfred Hiccup, Tippy Henman, Gary Grant, and Stewart James. Tippy's construction site, where the mummies were found, is the old Bates Hotel. In a secondary plot Alfred Hiccup, Wendy's mentor, recruits her to repossess, it's not stealing if it was originally stolen from him, a bronze  Remington statue that has been located in the lobby of the Cowboy Pension Fund on the top floor of the North by Northwest Financial Center in Miami. You can tell Ms. Silkstone had a lot of fun weaving this story and the Hitchcock elements together. I found myself chuckling through it all.

This is not just slapstick humor, there is a good mystery, unscrupulous political figures, evil lobbyists, a spoiled heiress, and a radical spinoff tribe of Seminole Native Americans trying to protect what may be an old Tequesta Indian burial site. Unfortunately, Roger Jolley is away on other mummy business involving the world’s most notorious mummy thief, Kyzer Saucy, who wishes to totally eliminate Roger by crafting an exotic demise. However, when he hears about the archaeological finds around Miami he joins Wendy in her quest to get to the truth about the Miami mummies.

I was glad to see more of Kit Kennedy in this book. He is a lot of fun to have around. I did fear for his safety a time or two through some of the plot twists. Ms. Silkstone does an excellent job bringing her story to life using recent headlines in Miami's news while making it a fun romp through Alfred Hitchcock's movie portfolio. There are a couple of new characters introduced who may make appearances in future books, it will be interesting to see. There is no cliffhanger at the end of this story but some things were not tied up in a neat little bow leaving openings for further adventures.

FYI:

Miami Mummies is the fourth book in the Wendy Darlin Tomb Raider series.
While it could be read as a stand-alone I would recommend reading Wendy and the Lost Boys, London Broil, and Cairo Caper for a complete appreciation of the characters.

Format/Typo Issues:

I found no significant issues.

Rating: ***** Five Stars

  




Monday, March 10, 2014

Celebrating the coming release of MIAMI MUMMIES

 To celebrate the upcoming release on March 17th of Miami Mummies, an homage to the great director Alfred Hitchcock, we are sharing this intriguing diagnosis of Hitch's film works.

Sit back and enjoy. There will be many things you already know, but many more surprises.
The Guardian performed a marvelous autopsy on the superb collection of classic Hitchcock films.


                   Click here:       Alfred Hitchcock's 39 Stats by the UK Guardian

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Happy St. Patrick's Day - Win a Kindle Fire...

We are giving away 2 Kindles!! The first one is available via the rafflecopter below. The 2nd is available only to bloggers who post about this giveaway. You can find info on how to enter in the rafflecopter.



                        Kindle Fire HDX March

Win a Kindle Fire HDX, Amazon Gift Card or Paypal Cash ($229 value)
Bloggers & Authors have joined together and each chipped in a little money towards a Kindle Fire HDX 7".

The winner will have the option of receiving a 7" Kindle Fire HDX (US Only - $229 Value)
  Or $229 Amazon.com Gift Card (International)
  Or $229 in Paypal Cash (International)
   

  Giveaway Sponsors: I Am A Reader Feed Your Reader Inspired Kathy Ripple Effect Romance Series Author M.A. George The (Mis)Adventures of a Twenty-Something year Old Girl Meredith & Jennifer's Musings Owl Always Be Reading Author Jennifer Laurens Bonnie Blythe's Pure Romance Bella Street's Weird Romance Author Jennifer Faye Good Choice Reading Reviews from a Bookworm Barbara Silkstone Rae Z. Ryans, Author The Stubby Pencil Author David Pandolfe Hallowed Ink Press Author Louise Caiola The Reporter and The Girl More Than a Review Kathryn Jones Once Upon a Twilight Author Jason Parent Author Amanda Tru Author Cidney Swanson Paige W. Pendleton Claudia Burgoa P.M. Richter - author RoAnna Sylver Tigris Eden The Bloggers Nest J.L. Weil The Cheap Ebook Luthando Coeur Author Mary Ting/M. Clarke Author Alecia Stone KellysLuckyYou Rebecca Talley Author Kimber Leigh Wheaton Simple Wyrdings Tressa's Wishful Endings Paranormal book Club (PBC) Author Stephanie Faris Author Inger Iversen Author Theresa DaLayne Where The Broken Lie by Derek Rempfer Bound 4 Escape Author Laura Diamond  

  Sign up to sponsor the next Kindle Giveaway here: http://www.iamareader.com/category/kindle-giveaway-sign-ups   Giveaway Details 1 winner will receive their choice of an all new Kindle Fire 7" HDX (US Only - $229 value), $229 Amazon Gift Card or $229 in Paypal Cash (International). There is a second separate giveaway for bloggers who post this giveaway on their blog. See details in the rafflecopter on how to enter to win the 2nd Kindle Fire HDX 7". Ends 3/31/14 Open only to those who can legally enter, receive and use an Amazon.com Gift Code or Paypal Cash. Winning Entry will be verified prior to prize being awarded. No purchase necessary. You must be 18 or older to enter or have your parent enter for you. The winner will be chosen by rafflecopter and announced here as well as emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook, Twitter, Rafflecopter or any other entity unless otherwise specified. The number of eligible entries received determines the odds of winning. Giveaway was organized by Kathy from I Am A Reader and sponsored by the participating authors & bloggers. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW. a Rafflecopter giveaway