Alice in Wonderland and other fantasy escapes
Fairy Tale Therapy
When
life tips your tiara it can hurt like the worst toothache. All princesses
endure this at one time or another. Sometimes the only relief from the pain of
a tipped tiara is to re-write a fairy tale and mock all the bullies who tried
to knock your crown off your head. I found riffing fairy tales to be quite therapeutic.
Therapy 101: Alice in Wonderland
Alice in Lewis Carroll’s Wonderland
is insatiably curious and eager for adventure. Following a white rabbit down a
hole she finds a world that skates on the thin edge of logic.
My Contemporary Alice
Miami real estate broker,
Alice Harte, follows the WRONG white rabbit and tumbles into a world populated
by mobsters and their nonsense lawyers. The original Alice nibbled on mushrooms
and EAT ME cookies to grow in size and strength. Alice Harte relies on Xanax
when she stumbles across a beheaded mob boss. Will she keep her own head? And
what about love? After all, this is romantic
suspense.
How The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age 42 and Three-Quarters came
to be
Caught
up in a relationship with a British man I met on the Internet in a holiday
house exchange, I was jabberwockied to discover he was a professional conman.
Like the original Alice, I tired to make sense out of his nonsense. But he
confused my logical mind with his caterpillar smoke and mirrors. I had become Alice in Wonderland, and the only way
out was through the portal I created by writing my own version of Alice.
I became a twister of fairy tales. It’s great fun to use snarky wit to secure
the tiaras of not only Alice, but Wendy Darlin, and Zo White.
Comparing
Alices
Both Alices are curious
creatures but whereas the original Alice wanted only to escape the world of
grownups with her tiara intact; contemporary Alice wants to live in England
with a loving partner, and stroll the sheep-lined country lanes. She’d also like to escape her mobster
employer. Unfortunately, Alice Harte is tossed down a dark rabbit hole with murder,
mystery, thugs, fish-flingers, and a touch of romance. The usual suspects: the
March Hare, Red Queen, and the Tweedles appear in the book, but with a
Chandler-esque twist.
The
Courtroom – real life
I found myself in a
courtroom not unlike Alice’s encounter with the King, Queen, dormouse, lizard,
and playing cards. It was easy to convert a pack of lawyers into a deck of
playing cards. I fastened my tiara, rolled up my sleeves, and jumped in. I
hoped that at the end of my godawful experience I would have one heck of a
fairy tale to share.
In Wonderland,
Alice is called as a witness. She accidentally knocks over the jury box with
the animals inside. The King orders her to place the animals back into their
seats before the trial continues.
In my real life courtroom, a
portly, pompous lawyer berated me, then without turning, he backed into this
seat. He missed the chair and tumbled to the floor knocking over a few stray
barristers. When he fell on his bum with an earth- shattering thud, I knew my
fairy tale was calling to me. This would make a perfect book.
As I grew in size to the
point where the beheading judge was fast falling to pieces, I recalled the part
in Wonderland where the Queen orders
Alice to be gone, citing Rule 42 "All persons more than a mile high to
leave the court.” Alice argues against their silly rule and refuses to leave.
The Queen shouts her familiar "Off with her head!" but Alice is
unafraid, calling them “just a pack of cards.” The cards and characters swarm
over her as she beats them off.
This
final scene was enough to launch my career as a twister of fairy tales.
If your tiara is painfully tipping or your chip has
fallen from your shoulder, take one fairy tale and call me in the morning.
The End
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